Chapter Two: Percy

The fact that the convenience store by my dorm building was only two hundred feet away should’ve meant the location was perfect. Except standing between me, deep fried potato wedges, and mini donuts was the highway that dissected the small town of Madison. 

The only way to cross the busy street was to walk a mile down the road to the southern exit, smack the half-broken button, and cross the only crosswalk. Though some students–with a death wish–chose to jaywalk across three busy lanes and pray to the gods for mercy, I wasn’t that kind of reckless.

I was feeling grouchy—not suicidal—so instead of braving the busy street, I wandered my way down the sidewalk, my headphones shoved in my ears. The fact there was only one crosswalk was bullshit. The walk should’ve taken max five minutes and instead it took a solid forty-five. Only the determined or truly stubborn still attempted it.

Which was apparently me.

I needed donuts.

Soda too.

And fucking Tommy had taken my car to work, so I either had to wait for him to bring my car back—which I wasn’t going to do because I wasn’t a fucking lazy piece of shit—or walk there myself.

Memories from my night in the cemetery a week ago spun to the forefront of my mind. Haden had been plaguing my thoughts constantly since the morning I’d woken up tucked safely beneath the bridge at the back of the graveyard, covered in dew droplets and a familiar black uniform jacket.

My mating bond was empty, even though I could still feel the throb of teeth and I’d chased Haden’s scent in the fabric before ultimately deciding I needed to let go. It clearly hadn’t taken, otherwise I would’ve felt him, right?

The jacket had been soft. Warm. A little small, when I tugged it on over my nakedness. But it worked well enough as I made the awkward waddling walk of shame with come slipping down my thighs to where I’d stashed my clothes behind a grave a hundred or so feet away. As I had approached the familiar tombstone, I noticed that sitting on top lay a giant, dead grasshopper.

Poor thing.

I paused. I debated the risk of staying out longer in the frigid ass air as I’d gotten dressed in my usual t-shirt and ratty sweatpants, shoved my feet into my army boots, and ultimately decided to do the right thing, my cold ass hands be damned. 

With the grasshopper’s fragile body cradled in my palms, I’d made my way back to the bridge. There were too many rocks on the edge of the graveyard to dig him a hole there–and I didn’t really want to wake up any angry spirits by digging in the grass above an already full grave. So under the bridge we went to where the soil was soft and the trickle of a stream echoed from the other side.

I felt stupid and a little embarrassed by my own soft heart as I dug a hole in the ground one-handed, and held an admittedly shitty funeral for the deceased bug. The dirt had clung to my skin and the familiar sensation had grounded me, even though the silliness remained.

It felt familiar because of the countless hours I’d spent tending to the dirt at the greenhouse I worked part time at.

Realistically, I knew the grasshopper probably didn’t care whether or not it was buried. Hell, most critters didn’t have funerals at all. Actually, all of them didn’t, probably. (I’d have to Google that later.) I was pretty sure burying people was a human thing. So the funeral was probably more for me than the grasshopper.

But…

Thinking about leaving its body to rot in the wind?

Hell no.

Little dude deserved more dignity than that.

The jacket clinging to my shoulders continued to be suspiciously warm as I patted dirt over the no longer empty grave, rose to my feet, and squinted through the darkness to the other end of the bridge. Sunlight peeped beneath it, revealing nothing more than moss-covered boulders and fallen leaves.

No creatures, purple or otherwise.

No dudes parading as skeletons.

If my ass hadn’t been absolutely reamed the night before, I probably would’ve thought I had imagined the whole thing. But I could still feel the stretch of Haden’s knot, a phantom pleasure that had my hole clenching and my neck throbbing where he’d bitten me.

And that was a whole other thing, wasn’t it? The fact he’d fucking bitten me at all. Who did that? What a dick bag. Especially since whatever pseudo-heat had started the night before had apparently fled with the first beams of sunlight. My pills had decided to magically work again this morning, because the air was just as stale and bland as it usually was, and Haden’s scent was almost entirely gone, despite the fact that I still had his cum leaking out of my ass.

A bite and run.

Asshole.

I didn’t know what to do.

So I’d glared into the darkness, raised my dirt covered hand, and flipped off the shadows. When that didn’t make me feel any better, my stolen jacket and I had plodded unhappily back toward the parking lot to forget the night before and take a much needed shower.

I figured the least Haden could do was let me keep his fucking jacket since he got to keep my virginity.

The only thing that had kept me sane was the fact that despite the scar on the back of my neck, the bond hadn’t seemed to take. I was more sure of that the more time passed without the telltale ache of longing for a partner I wasn’t even sure was human.

But that had been a week ago.

And now I was here crossing the highway as the bitter wind bit at my cheeks, wondering why the hell I couldn’t seem to forget that night. In my dreams, I hunted for the memories, unable to stop. And unable to forget the fact that Haden’s jacket was shoved under my bed, hidden inside a box for safe-keeping, because I hadn’t wanted Tommy to see it and ask where I’d gotten it. 

He’d take one look at it and either rib me for answers, or try to steal the damn thing. I wasn’t a fashion expert, but even I could tell it was pretty magical. In the light of day, I’d taken it out more than once to admire the swirling embroidery, and to chide myself for stupidly believing in magic at all. I’d spent too long tracing over the frankly realistic bones till I had their shapes memorized before I’d guiltily shoved it back into the box and tried to forget about it all over again.

The ribcage embroidery was particularly gorgeous.

Which wasn’t something I’d thought I’d ever say, so yeah.

Apparently, I was full of surprises lately.

By the time I reached the convenience store, I was huffing and puffing and my lungs were frozen stiff. I bought my donuts, a soda, and a pack of Cheez-Its with a nod to my favorite cashier before I sat down on the curb out front to stuff my face and try to forget the dreams that had haunted me since the night I’d spent in the graveyard.

I shoved three donuts in my mouth at once, my flash cards in my other hand as I glared out at the highway. It pissed me off to watch the cars that zoomed by, seemingly without a care in the world. I only wished I was that carefree. I was a scholarship student, despite being stupid, so grades mattered. Which was why I was studying for a test in my least favorite class by inhaling my scribbled notes with my eyeballs one-handed while I stuffed my face with the other.

Every moment mattered when it came to my schooling. I hadn’t decided a major yet, but my counselor assured me there was still time.

Dad didn’t think I’d make it here.

Hell, I hadn’t thought I could either.

But here I was. It had been a year and a half and somehow—miraculously—I hadn’t flunked out yet. In fact, I was pretty much enjoying it. I liked the schedules. I liked learning. Most of all, I liked being far, far away from home. The greenhouse I worked at on campus had become my safe space the second I’d stepped inside it and without college—without the boring as hell classes—I wouldn’t have found my favorite plot at the back of the garden.

The money helped too, even though working part time didn’t really pay much.

I was grateful.

Even though it felt like my brain was about to bleed out my ears.

I finished my donuts in silence and moved onto my crackers, stuffing my cheeks full like a chipmunk as my saliva did half the work, my fingers smudging salt on my index cards. Jesus. Had I been high when I’d written half of these? I didn’t think so. But they didn’t make any fucking sense.

I mourned the fact that studying at college meant, well…studying.

A horn blared and without looking up, I tore my Cheez-It delivering hand out of the bag and flipped off the oncoming vehicle. Stupid of me, sure. It could’ve been someone bigger than me, stronger too—but I was more scared of flunking out of school than I was of some territorial asshole in the middle of a public parking lot.

The horn blared again.

Jee-sus. 

I rolled my eyes and raised my head, ready to tell whoever was interrupting me to fuck off, only to stop short when I realized I was looking at my own fucking car.

“Get in.” Tommy’s familiar head was shoved out the driver’s side window and his shit-eating grin ate up the delicate real estate of his face. I didn’t argue, used to taking orders from him and everyone else. Instead, I just shoved my cards back in my hoodie pocket, along with my soda and half eaten chips, then chucked my donut wrappers in the trash.

It was warm inside the car. Warm enough that it made me realize just how cold I’d gotten on my walk over.

I cranked up the heat and reclined my seat, chewing on my lip as I waited to hear what sort of nonsense Tommy was about to spew.

Tommy knew everything about everyone, ever.

And that wasn’t even an exaggeration.

“How was work?” I asked after a few tense seconds, when it was clear that the other omega wasn’t about to speak.

“Same old, same old.” He was subdued. Which was entirely unlike him.

I turned to look at him for probably the first time since that night. I knew it would be hard to dodge his questions, so I’d spent the majority of the week avoiding him. I didn’t really want him knowing my business. And I knew it was only a matter of time before he asked about the massive bandage I had pasted on the back of my neck. This was the first time we’d really talked since I’d showered off Haden’s scent, went to the store and splurged on turtlenecks. The bite had healed quicker than it should’ve, but I hadn’t known what else to do to cover it up.

Having a mating bite made me a red fucking flag. I couldn’t claim to be beta walking around with an alpha’s mark on my skin.

I could count on one hand the amount of people that I knew I was an omega, and I wasn't ready for that number to expand. Fuck, I didn’t even want to know what my dad would say—what he’d think—what he’d do to me if he found out I’d rolled over and presented my ass like a bitch in heat. His reactions were always over the top, and his rage sometimes blinded him, even though realistically I knew a bitch in heat is kinda what I was. Not that I’d ever say that to him.

I knew there was no shame in being an omega.

I knew that.

I looked at guys like Tommy—who were all smiles. Pretty. Small-framed. Whip smart, and full of charisma, and I knew, deep down, for omegas like him being what we were, could only be a blessing. But for me? Fuck no.

That’s why I’d been avoiding him.

He wouldn’t get it.

He couldn’t.

We weren’t the same, even if we were.

“How did you know where I was?” I asked, trying to break the silence. My soda sat heavy where it stretched the limits of my pocket and I shifted uncomfortably on the worn leather seat. I’d had to duct tape the edges last summer when they’d finally popped free, but otherwise good old Bessy—my Honda Civic—was in pretty damn good shape considering how old she was, and how many owner’s she’d had before I came along.

Most would call her junk.

I called her my best girl.

“Wasn’t hard to figure it out,” Tommy told me with a huff. “When you avoid me, you always go stuff your face somewhere, and I already checked the cafe on campus and you weren’t there.” 

I wanted to argue but he was right. About both things. “You noticed?”

“Course I fucking noticed, Percy.” 

I could feel Tommy’s glare and I shrunk in my seat, making myself smaller even though that wasn’t physically possible. 

“You didn’t watch The Terminator with me even though we had it planned for like over a month. You leave the room whenever I enter it—and you’ve got this shifty look on your face—like always.” He sniffed. “I don’t know what I did to offend you, but the least you could do was tell it to my face.”

That was one thing I liked about Tommy.

He didn’t beat around the bush. In some ways, he was more straight-forward than my brothers—or even I was. Even though he admittedly had a lot more complicated emotions.

Maybe I was being stupid by keeping what had happened from him.

Maybe.

But that night had felt like a dream and I wasn’t sure whether or not it was a nightmare yet.

My neck throbbed with the memory, and without thinking, I reached up and rubbed the sore bond bite.

Tommy’s gaze immediately snapped to where I was rubbing, and his eyebrows flew up comically fast. 

“Turtlenecks,” he said, realization dawning. “Turtlenecks!” He slapped his hands on the steering wheel and his eyes narrowed as he glared me down.“Um. Percy? Please tell me that’s not a bond bite you’re hiding.”

I grimaced because I knew I’d done this to myself. Stupid. If I’d just…not touched it, he wouldn’t have noticed. God. Now I had to explain what had happened? Or maybe…maybe I could lie.

Except I knew I was a shit liar.

But maybe I could make this work, anyway.

“Some asshole bit me. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.” A half truth. Enough that I could see the way Tommy’s green eyes lit up with evil glee and revenge began to brew behind them as surely as I’d known it would.

“Who was it? I’ll chop his balls off.”

Ew.

I thought about Haden’s lovely purple balls. Then I thought about them chopped off. And my whole face scrunched up with disgust. “No, thanks.”

“Seriously.” He took a left toward the dorm a little too abruptly and I had to cling to the door frame for much needed support. I really shouldn’t let him drive my car—considering what I knew about his driving abilities. But he always asked so nice…and I was a sucker for those big green eyes.

“I said no thanks.”

“Just give me a letter.” Tommy parked the car with a lurch and I almost lost my lunch, sagging a little when we were safely under our numbered awning, and he pulled the keys from the ignition. He chucked them at me, and I caught them with a glare. “Just the first letter of his name, that’s all I’m asking.”

I debated with myself.

I wanted to say no because he was almost as nosy as a fucker as Haden was.

But…Tommy would keep pushing. He never knew when to fucking quit. Annnnd he was my best friend. So really, what was the harm of one simple little letter?

If I actually had been bitten by someone on campus, a letter was all Tommy needed to hunt the prick down like he so obviously wanted to. He thought I couldn’t see behind his sneaky little smile, but I could see the evil lurking under his glittery innocent gaze. It was why I liked him so much, after all.

He was as loyal as a rabid chihuahua guarding the fridge.

“Fine.” There wasn’t any way he’d find Haden. Hell. I wasn’t even sure he even existed. Aside from the jacket and the bite, there was nothing to prove it. But…I didn’t really want Tommy mad at me. I had missed our movie night…So I acquiesced. “H.”

“H.” Tommy hummed thoughtfully, slipping out of the car with a flourish, and slamming the door shut. I inhaled with a huff, chasing a scent I knew I wouldn’t be able to smell, ignoring his grin because it wasn’t settling me like it normally did. He rapped on the window and I got out of the car, stomping my way toward the stairs.

Man.

Haden wasn’t even fully real and he was still messing me up.

With a shake of my head, I headed up the steps to the main entrance. The giant symbol etched above the door laughed at me as I passed beneath it. This was the omega dorm, and all you had to do was see the designation sign to know it. Always felt like a lie coming here. Or maybe…not a lie? But…wrong.

It just felt wrong.

I didn’t belong here.

That’s why I’d applied for the Frat in the first place. The guys liked me well enough. They invited me to their parties—they greeted me in class. When it was football season, I got more back slaps and ass taps than usual as they passed by me on campus since I’d enjoyed more than a few practice matches last summer.

They liked me.

I fit in better there with their dirty socks, big shoulders, and friendly manly camaraderie. Reminded me of being home, what it had felt like being the youngest of three brothers. Passed between rough hands like a shiny new toy only to be discarded when I stopped crying quite so much.

“Did you hear back from the dick-o-saurs?” Tommy asked as we headed up the staircase.

I knew who he meant.

The same guys I called my friends Tommy privately referred to with a variety of colorful insults. Even though I did like our spa nights, or the fact he had a black belt in MMA, he didn’t get it. Didn’t get why I needed them the way I did. As much as I liked Tommy, he wasn’t…what I knew.

And that was scary. 

“I get to move in at the beginning of next semester,” I admitted, cheeks a little hot. All the paperwork was done now, everything set in stone. This was a sore spot between us. Tommy didn’t want me to move out. He claimed it was because he’d miss me, but we both knew it was because he didn’t think I could make it out there on my own, which was why I was determined to prove him wrong, even though he was probably right.

Tommy’s voice in my head called me a pessimist again and I mentally flipped him off.

“Are you gonna tell your dad?” the real Tommy asked.

That was a loaded question.

Dad didn’t know I was living in the omega dorm in the first place. If he did, he wouldn’t have let me go to college at all. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I forced myself to speak. 

“He probably won’t ever visit.” I hoped anyway. That would be a cluster fuck. Despite only being a forty minute drive from home, none of my family had ever visited me during the entire year and a half I’d gone to college in Madison.

I didn’t mind though, honestly.

The little mountain town had become precious to me. Like a well guarded secret. I coveted the old brick buildings, the chipped sidewalks, and the hungover students waltzing around campus. I wasn’t sure what would happen if my family came, but if my two worlds collided, I didn’t think I could survive the aftermath.

Didn’t want to hear my brother’s laughter here, or witness my father’s silent disapproval. Beneath it always sat a darker anger, simmering under the surface. I didn’t like when I brought it out of him and I knew my ‘sissy little garden’ and my ‘pansy friend’ would make him boil over.

Tommy just shook his head at me, but he didn’t push again as he shoved open our bedroom door, waited for me to enter, then flopped down on his bed with a dramatic sigh.

“Terminator?” he offered hopefully, even though he’d already watched it without me, his dark hair flopping all over before he pushed it back out of the way.

I thought about my index cards and the fact I’d only gone through half of them.

But then Tommy gave me his puppy dog eyes, and I sighed, already calculating how late I’d have to stay up to catch up while he slept. “Okay, but you’re gonna get the popcorn.”

Maybe if I was tired enough, I could stop searching for Haden in my sleep.

“You already have snacks,” he pointed out.

“I’m not sharing.” I guarded my full hoodie pocket, eyes narrowed.

Kids who grew up with everything didn’t understand what it was like to hunt for scraps in the back of barren cupboards. So no. I wasn’t going to share. He could buy his own fucking Cheez-Its.

“Fine, fine. Be stingy.” Tommy obviously didn’t care that much because he just grinned at me as he hopped to his feet again and fled toward the bedroom door. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

“Sure.”

The door shut with an audible click and I sighed, scrubbing my hands up over my face as I glared around our familiar room. Tommy’s side was covered in Clueless and Cary Grant posters. All his toiletries and his spa kit were stacked together neatly in rows inside a cabinet he’d brought from home when he’d moved in. I’d miss this place when I was gone. Miss him too, even though he plagued me with the scent of acetone three days a week. Acetone just so happened to be one of the scents I could still fucking smell, lucky me.

But I’d miss that too. This room had been my first home away from home. My ratty old blanket was folded neatly across my bed, the same pillowcase I’d had since I was ten and obsessed with Toy Story decorating my decade old pillow. Mom had bought it for me at Target for my birthday and every time I looked at Woody’s happy stupid face, it made me smile.

Everything I’d contributed to the room was covered in holes. Hand-me-downs. Keepsakes. Precious.

Tommy’s side of the room, however, was all new shiny things that came in plastic wrap and had a price tag long enough if I tried to read it my eyes would cross.

We were so different and yet somehow worked so well.

I’d miss him so much when I was gone. I knew realistically we could still be friends. But it would take more effort on his end, and honestly, I wasn’t sure I was worth that. Hell, no one else had made the effort before.

The thought unsettled me, so I shoved it away, staring at my bed as the tease of what I hid beneath it came to mind.

I wanted to get Haden’s jacket out again, to search for comfort in his scent like I’d been shamefully allowing myself to do all week, but I forced myself to sit on my hands instead, my soda a heavy lump in my pocket. I didn’t have time. Tommy would be back soon. I’d barely gotten out of the last conversation with Tommy unscathed, the last thing I needed was more scrutiny.

Plus, I didn’t want to share Haden, whatever small bits of him I still had.

Despite this, I missed his scent all the same.

Even when Tommy returned with a giant bin of buttered popcorn and a hopeful skip in his step, I missed him.

Haden’s jacket sat under the bed, mocking me.

Soothing me.

Taunting me with something I could never have.